How to Set Intentions in the New Year

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The last days of 2016 were highly emotionally charged and I've been deep in my feelings doing a lot of self-reflecting. I had a huge blow out with someone I really respect. And a SUPER difficult time with someone I deeply love. There was shouting, cursing, harsh words, tears (theirs and mine), the whole shebang. I was challenged to show restraint {and #compassion} in a way that was both surprising and a little uncharacteristic of me. ESPECIALLY when I feel that my point is justified, or that I'm on the right side of the matter. Honestly, it caught me off guard-- both the situation and my reaction. There are two things that I'm normally good for: this attitude and these hands. Come at me sideways and you're bound to catch one. This sweet face & easygoing #spirit has been the source of plenty stunned faces & shattered #egos. But JUST a few nights ago I made a promise to myself to do my best to be led with a spirit of love in the new year. And the #universe was like, worrrrrd?!?! Let's see. 🤔 *Starts forest fire* 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Real life, I want to be transparent about this walk, and that it's not always incense and candlelight (another burn reference, lol). I'm #passionate af-- I get mad, I cuss, I lose my patience; hurt my feelings and I'll ignore a person from now until forever like they never existed (I'm working on this, ok dammit). In other words, I'm not immune to the #human condition of emotion. I've been burning a lot lately-- candles, sage, intentions, you name it. This week has been a win because I chose to stoke the fire, in spite of the burn. I chose forgiveness. I chose not to attack or defend. I chose to not to attach my self-worth to the opinions and angry words of others. In other words, I chose #love.

That's one of my main big intentions in 2017, to move with love in the things that I say and do and with how I react. Many of the things I want for myself aren't resolutions, in fact they're not even necessarily tangible goals. In addition to being more loving, I intend to do things, have experiences and live in a way that makes me feel more vivacious, secure, fully-realized and free. That's it, 5 guiding principles for my year. I go into detail here in this vlog about how I plan to cultivate more of these things in my life. But for now, let's start with how I prepare myself to set intentions and create space to receive.

Step 1: De-clutter

I've been making it a point to energetically and physically clear out the clutter in my space. I'm the type of person who functions best in an orderly environment so de-cluttering is a must anytime I get ready to take on something new. I start by giving away or getting rid of excess clothes from my closet, throwing away paper and magazines that I don't need and are taking up space, discarding mostly empty product bottles, etc. You can start by taking a look around your space and figuring out what needs to go. This is a great way to make room for that what you desire or need.

Step 2: Burn some sage

Sage is long known to help rid your space of any negative energy, so smudge away. Smudge your room, your creative space, smudge yourself. This will help you shed the negative.

Step 3:  Identify what your core needs and how you want to feel in your life at the moment.

I like to think of this as taking inventory and asking myself what would I like to experience more of on a day to day basis. I highly recommend The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte to help get this process started.  One thing she pointed out in the book was that once you get your core desires out, notice which ones are tied to longings that are predicated on the involvement of or attention from other people. Your core desires are about you. This work is for you, to be done by you, and there's nothing anyone can do for you or give you 100% of themselves 24/7 to substitute for your own love, respect, admiration-- whatever you identify as a core desire. It all starts with you first, and must be something that you can find a way to give to yourself if you are to truly be fulfilled.

Step 4: Meditate

Put the books down, drop everything and meditate. Give your developing intentions time to marinate. I like to take a couple of days between when I start writing things out so that I can come back to them and make addendums and edits to my initial reactions. I cannot over-state the benefits of a solid meditation practice on a day-to-day basis, not just when you are creating intentions. You may find that other feelings will start to surface and show themselves to you. These are signs from deep within that want to be seen, heard and acknowledged. Pay attention to them. See the post here for more on how to get started. Your mind and spirit will thank you.

Step 5: Write it down and burn it.

This is where a good journal or resource like desire mapping comes into play. I use(d) both, but I always go back to sticky notes that I put in places where I know I will be reminded. If you live alone post them in places that are visible to you. If you live with others and want this rev(Love)ution to take place quietly, do like I do and put the notes in private spaces, like your wallet or jewelry box or other spaces where others won't come across it. 

While I keep notes to myself around, when I first lay out what my intentions are, I initially burn them to purify my desires. You can also write special words on a candle and burn it. I'm a fire sign. And though I don't follow astrology, I wonder if maybe this has something to do with my obsession to burn things, like candles, even when I'm not intention setting. I just find fire-- whether it's in a fireplace or a bonfire really soothing, especially in the winter months.

So, that's pretty much my process. It's really based on focusing in on and clarifying how I want to feel, then distilling those feelings according to how my spirit leads and shows me where to focus in on. Let me know in the comments how you set your intentions for a successful, prosperous and spiritually fulfilling New Year.